Mother & Child

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Relationship! What is a relationship?

The Wikipedia version is “… an association between two or more people that may range from fleeting to enduring…” & “… a connection between two individuals… “ & “… involve some level of interdependence. People in a relationship tend to influence each other, share their thoughts and feelings, and engage in activities together. Because of this interdependence, most things that change or impact one member of the relationship will have some level of impact on the other member… “.

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It’s my Mother’s birthday today, she would have been 81. Her fave flowers were freesias and I remember the last time I saw her alive, it was winter, I bought out the flower shop, she cried when she saw the armful of freesias.

So today I will write about Mother & child relationships.

Think back, how did you see your Mother when you were 6? How about when you were 16 or 26? The relationship changes over time with each memory or lack of it. How do you remember a certain moment or day and how does she?

My Mother passed away 26 years ago and my memory of her changed as years passed, it softened. When I was a teenager I wanted her to be different, to be cool, like my best friend’s Mom with whom you could talk openly about anything. After becoming a Mother myself, I understand her more or why she did certain things. After digging into her childhood, understanding her temperament, I came to realize she was the best Mother she could be, she sacrificed a lot for us kids, she spent many sleepless nights worrying about us and the most important thing, she never gave up on us. In a way she helped me become who I am today.

Having a child changes your life completely and irrevocably. I remember when I found out I was going to be a Mom… I was scared and elated at the same time. Thinking back to my life before becoming a Mom, I would change many things, but never the fact of becoming a Mom. Even after years of non-existent sleep, backaches, tears of frustrations … kids don’t come with an instruction manual you know? …. and I didn’t have the benefit of my Mother’s or Grandmother’s wisdom to draw from, I would not change a thing. I think of those early years of my “mommy brain on auto-pilot” years.

As I keep telling my son, he is my life and my sunshine. His smiles are more precious than diamonds. His face is like an open book to me, I know every twitch and frown, or his rascal up-to-no-good smile.
“ How did you know, Mom? ”
“ Because I AM your Mom!!! “
Baffles him every time 😀

I look at our relationship how it changed from year to year and try to give him all the love and the hugs and the support I can as he goes thru each stage of his life. I keep reminding him that I’ve been there, done that ( got lots of t-shirts too… 😀 ), and that he can come to me any time, no matter what. We have many talks, every day and encourage him to be the best he can. It is a bit harder now with the teenage years in full bloom and there are days when I think I will not survive this stage LOL

As our child grows, we age. I never thought about death, I mean really seriously think about it, until my Father passed away 10 years ago. With the generations before me out of the picture, I am on the front line. It is a scary place. I want to live to see my son grow up, finish school, get a career, find THE girl, fall in love. I want to be there to guide him to become a good man like his Dad and both his Grandads, and make sure he is set in life.I hope he will remember me with fondness and he will remember the good times. In the meantime, I plan to live each day to the fullest. Maybe my house is not as clean as it used to be or I forgot what it used to feel like sleeping in on weekends, but I have memories of laughing, arguing, crying or being silly with my son and planning to collect many more.

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Peonies are my fave flowers

I became a Mother a few days before Mother’s Day, so with Mother’s Day approaching, I would like to salute all the Mothers out there, and I am fortunate to call friend many wonderful Mothers. My hat off to you all, YOU ROCK!!! Especially the single Moms who have so many hats on. I know because I am one of them now. Mothers should be celebrated every day!

Happy thinking!

‘Till next time.

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Friendship

Hello and welcome!

As some of you know, this blog was on another site and because it became a PITA, I moved it here after much research. Love WordPress, easy to use and has unlimited options to make it your own. As you see I like simple, without many embellishments because I like designs that ‘breathe’.

Anyway… I was checking the posts on the old site and was reminiscing, I do that a lot lately… I came across this short post from April 2012 and I thought, it was current then and it is current now. Read on…

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I have met many people in my lifetime, many friendships developed, not many survived the test of time. Here comes to mind the poem “Reason, Season, or Lifetime” (author unknown) and thinking about the whys and the hows so few of them are still in my life and so many are just a memory or lost to the past.

I realize that, again, it comes down to communication. Friendships are relationships that take as much ‘work’ as any other, it is a give-and-take, and an acceptance of who you are. When the balance is tipped to one side, friendships fail and that is the reason I have few friends. I refuse to entertain the ones who just take and take without giving back or the toxic ones.

When I reached a certain age, my view on things changed, that is true for friends too. I do not have the need to change just to be accepted as I did in my younger years. I realized that it became less important to have many friends and more important to have real ones. I accept as they are and expect the same.

Some of whom I thought as friends turned out not to be and some who started out as mutual dislike turned into friend, stayed true and strong over the years, you know who you are…. yes, I know you are smiling… and there are the ones that from the first word we ‘clicked’ and seemed like we knew each other for ages, again you know who you are. I want you to know that I appreciate each and every one of you and I cherish you. You bring so much to my life and I hope I bring to yours.

Here is a poem written by my friend whom you have met in one of my chats not long ago.

For you my friends

MyFriend-poem

Take the time today to tell your friends the difference they have made in your life. I JUST DID !!!
Happy thinking! Until next time…

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