Mother & Child

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Relationship! What is a relationship?

The Wikipedia version is “… an association between two or more people that may range from fleeting to enduring…” & “… a connection between two individuals… “ & “… involve some level of interdependence. People in a relationship tend to influence each other, share their thoughts and feelings, and engage in activities together. Because of this interdependence, most things that change or impact one member of the relationship will have some level of impact on the other member… “.

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source

It’s my Mother’s birthday today, she would have been 81. Her fave flowers were freesias and I remember the last time I saw her alive, it was winter, I bought out the flower shop, she cried when she saw the armful of freesias.

So today I will write about Mother & child relationships.

Think back, how did you see your Mother when you were 6? How about when you were 16 or 26? The relationship changes over time with each memory or lack of it. How do you remember a certain moment or day and how does she?

My Mother passed away 26 years ago and my memory of her changed as years passed, it softened. When I was a teenager I wanted her to be different, to be cool, like my best friend’s Mom with whom you could talk openly about anything. After becoming a Mother myself, I understand her more or why she did certain things. After digging into her childhood, understanding her temperament, I came to realize she was the best Mother she could be, she sacrificed a lot for us kids, she spent many sleepless nights worrying about us and the most important thing, she never gave up on us. In a way she helped me become who I am today.

Having a child changes your life completely and irrevocably. I remember when I found out I was going to be a Mom… I was scared and elated at the same time. Thinking back to my life before becoming a Mom, I would change many things, but never the fact of becoming a Mom. Even after years of non-existent sleep, backaches, tears of frustrations … kids don’t come with an instruction manual you know? …. and I didn’t have the benefit of my Mother’s or Grandmother’s wisdom to draw from, I would not change a thing. I think of those early years of my “mommy brain on auto-pilot” years.

As I keep telling my son, he is my life and my sunshine. His smiles are more precious than diamonds. His face is like an open book to me, I know every twitch and frown, or his rascal up-to-no-good smile.
“ How did you know, Mom? ”
“ Because I AM your Mom!!! “
Baffles him every time 😀

I look at our relationship how it changed from year to year and try to give him all the love and the hugs and the support I can as he goes thru each stage of his life. I keep reminding him that I’ve been there, done that ( got lots of t-shirts too… 😀 ), and that he can come to me any time, no matter what. We have many talks, every day and encourage him to be the best he can. It is a bit harder now with the teenage years in full bloom and there are days when I think I will not survive this stage LOL

As our child grows, we age. I never thought about death, I mean really seriously think about it, until my Father passed away 10 years ago. With the generations before me out of the picture, I am on the front line. It is a scary place. I want to live to see my son grow up, finish school, get a career, find THE girl, fall in love. I want to be there to guide him to become a good man like his Dad and both his Grandads, and make sure he is set in life.I hope he will remember me with fondness and he will remember the good times. In the meantime, I plan to live each day to the fullest. Maybe my house is not as clean as it used to be or I forgot what it used to feel like sleeping in on weekends, but I have memories of laughing, arguing, crying or being silly with my son and planning to collect many more.

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Peonies are my fave flowers

I became a Mother a few days before Mother’s Day, so with Mother’s Day approaching, I would like to salute all the Mothers out there, and I am fortunate to call friend many wonderful Mothers. My hat off to you all, YOU ROCK!!! Especially the single Moms who have so many hats on. I know because I am one of them now. Mothers should be celebrated every day!

Happy thinking!

‘Till next time.

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10 responses to “Mother & Child

  1. Your mother would have been proud of the woman you became.

  2. Oh Eniko, what a beautiful tribute to your mother, yourself and all of us mothers. It’s so true on how we see our mothers through each stage of life but the one constant is that we always love them, no matter what. I lost my Mom 9 years ago, so I was luckier than you and I still miss her terribly. I think I did well by my children-at least that’s what they tell me and what better tribute is that to any Mom. As MA says, I think your mother would be very proud of you! Thank you so much for this beautiful blog!

  3. Loved this. Loved and miss my mom too. she has been gone about as long as yours has. For what it worth I think you turned out great and I think your son will think so to all his life.

  4. Mary Morgan

    What a beautiful post and tribute to your mother! Mine is 83 and I treasure every moment! Thank you for sharing. xo

  5. kaisquared4

    My mom is 86 and I treasure every minute I get to spend with her.

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